Friday October 22 2004

Hylas and the Nyphs - JW Waterhouse

Dear Paper-Trap,

I’m so confused! I love my enormous, hunky boyfriend Hercules and have always been faithful to him, but lately my thoughts have strayed. The sexy Nyphs I met at the spring are just gagging for it and they want me to run away with them to their secret underwater cave so we can all make out. I know Hercules will be royally pissed, but I have the chance to score with a whole bunch of hot Arcadian babes. What do I do?!

Yours,

Hylas of the Argonauts

 

Dear Hylas,

If Hercules came across a pack of horny Nymphs, do you think he’d spare a thought for you? I doubt it. He’s just a big lump of stupid beefcake who’ll jump on top of anything that moves - man, woman or mythical creature. Pretty soon he’ll be eyeing off other young aristocrats and you’ll be wondering what you did to lose his interest.

In the long run you’d be better off seeing other people, so go and let your hair down and don’t feel guilty about it!!

PS: Can you get some water Nymph phone numbers for me?

 

8 Comments »

  1. Later that day, a beautiful clear spring one at that, Mark was smite down by a bolt of lightning. Zeus, Hercules dad, blogs the incident.

    Comment by Richard Giles — Friday October 22 2004 @ 12:18 pm

  2. You’re a maniac. A NYMPHOMANIAC!

    Comment by anthony — Friday October 22 2004 @ 5:00 pm

  3. Well that was certainly unexpected… Overdosed on Horny Goat Weed and greek mythology, did we?

    Comment by mellipop — Friday October 22 2004 @ 6:45 pm

  4. Actually, I was kinda emulating the great advice columns in On The Beach At The End Of The World. I found a picture with boobs in and thought ‘why not?’

    Really though, nothing beats ‘Tits Out Tuesday’ at OTBATEOTW. BTW, where can I find this goatweed of which you speak?

    Comment by Mark — Saturday October 23 2004 @ 12:45 am

  5. Health food stores. It’s herbal not hard-core pharmaceutical so may be more of a placebo than have any real physiological effect. Best of luck.

    Comment by mellipop — Saturday October 23 2004 @ 6:10 am

  6. Erm, I’ll stick with beer for the moment.

    Comment by Mark — Sunday October 24 2004 @ 6:45 pm

  7. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Lucky it was nymphs and not sirens I say.

    Comment by Marisa — Monday October 25 2004 @ 8:27 am

  8. Don’t knock the herbal remedies. That damiana is the stuff of legends.

    ~Lu.

    Comment by Lu — Tuesday October 26 2004 @ 9:58 am

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