The impossibility of anyone actually needing the stuff in the catalogue. For example, the ‘Prophet’ Jacket is made from Goretex Extramadura Absolute Viper material and comes with armpit zips for ventilation. At a little under $800, it’s perfect for climbing Mount Everest but might be overkill when you’re just running across the carpark at the shops. Now, seeing as I stole this catalogue from a pudgy German exchange student, I get the feeling that very few people on the Paddy Pallin mailing list are acutal Arctic explorers. What is the purpose then, of having the jacket, or the $1600 ‘Bombshelter’ alpine tent, on sale? Purely to suggest that you could, if you wanted to, walk into a shop and purchase an Everest attempt’s worth of gear? Is that an essential part of the freedom we Australians enjoy? (Freedom meaning freedom to buy stuff, of course.) Or are there people who simply enjoy extra-tough outdoor wear, in case of an unexpected avalanche?

Cooler than Communism. All of the clothes sit very close to the skin. They are in nice, minimalist colours but otherwise bear no adornment. 100% modernist coture - form is purely determined by function, always with a maximum of efficiency and suitability for the human body. Even with communism the fatigues have a symbolic quality - making reference to the militarisation of the social body and the brotherhood of workers (all privates in the army of the manufacturing state). At Paddy Pallin there are no badges. Collars are either absent or turned into utilitarian tubes to house and insulate the neck. The only thing signified is the pure perfection of the garments in terms of use-value.

Hyper-useful: so perfect it’s ridiculous. ‘Breathable Give-N-Go(tm) fabric… features a moisture-wicking, anti-microbial finish’. What is this high-tech material being used for? A revolutionary tent? A top-quality jacket? No, it’s underpants. A $30 pair of briefs or a $40 pair of boxers. Ladies styles also available. What use could anyone have for these ‘miracle pants’? God only knows. And this is the weirdest part: Paddy Pallin’s absolute emphasis on quality has lead to items being stocked that are of excessive quality. They are so perfect and so useful that nobody could ever possibly use them to their full potential - their perfection thus indicates a kind of paranoia. It has its primary value in conferring the status of signifiers of wealth and taste on the items in the catalogue. Therefore, beneath the exaggerated technical qualities of the items, Paddy Pallin are selling status symbols. Use value has collapsed in on itself, leading to its antithesis: pure exchange value.