As I lay there sleeping last night I wondered. Where does the word ‘PEZ’ come from? Then I realised: it’s code! See, PEZ is a secret acronym for ‘Protocols of the Elders of Zion’. The book that contains the hidden Zionist plans to topple all good Christian societies and enslave the white race. Don’t believe all this mumbo-jumbo about a German breath mint that became popular with children - it’s a conspiracy!!

So THERE. YOU. HAVE IT. - Pez is part of a secret Judeo-Fascist plot to take over the world. They’re using the Pez to distribute hallucinogens to the population. Confusion and disorder, that’s the plan. Wait until the authorities are too wacked on this shit to know what’s going on citizens in the street eating each others’ brains flocks of vultures circling over the insane nearly dead and then when everything has gone permanently fucked up and haywire walk in and take over. They’ll enslave the rest of us for their zombie hordes too high on Pez to realise that we’re covered in human blood and flesh. HUMAN BLOOD ya hear? It ALL GOING DOWN. We gotta stop em crazy mad bastards before its too late. Yeah, we’ll stop em. Take all the Pez away.

Where’s the shells? Where’s yer 12-gauge?