returning
Coming to Sydney didn’t feel this hard last time. I guess I wanted to leave, and I had so much to do setting up here that I didn’t have much time to think about it. Now, it feels awful. I wonder how I coped last year and I think, to quite an extent, I didn’t.
Perhaps I’m not as brave as some people. I like living alone, but the feeling of knowing no one and being no one is something I have trouble with. And it’s not just having someone to be around that I need, it’s a few particular people that I miss badly (and it’s only been a day :) ). I’m also afraid that this will go on forever - when I’m done with Sydney it will be time to move on somewhere else to find work, which, if it’s a university position, could be anywhere. Feels like being trapped. I hate that I love what I do.
My connection to everyone back west, my hands, are burning from RSI that won’t go away - they can’t type a fraction of what they should. This is going to be hard, but I want it to be hard.
I really should go and eat something.
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Perhaps i am slow and haven’t caught onto the obvious, but what is it that you do? Occupation, i mean.
Comment by chuffed_enuff — Sunday February 19 2006 @ 3:16 pm
PhD student and tutor. It’s a small world, so I try to maintain some degree of anonymity.
Comment by Mark — Sunday February 19 2006 @ 3:37 pm
Yeah, that’s probably wise :)
Comment by chuffed_enuff — Sunday February 19 2006 @ 4:23 pm
oh dear, I really feel for you. Or perhaps know the feeling all too well.
Really, the Duke is the place to be of a Sunday night [it was really really empty tonight too..] - all becuase I’m there drinking too much and being horrible about people :)
I think the [drunken] moral is - don’t be lonely, head to the Duke and walk up to drunken fat chicks and say ‘are you…?’
lol
Comment by nailpolishblues — Sunday February 19 2006 @ 11:45 pm
Okay, you got it.
Comment by Mark — Monday February 20 2006 @ 8:25 am
If it’s any consolation, I found Perth a pretty lonely place too.
Comment by James — Monday February 20 2006 @ 7:55 pm
Eat a really big biscuit! Maybe put some jam on it!
Comment by Clare — Monday February 20 2006 @ 9:04 pm
James - I understand; and you do make Sydney easier for me - but today I don’t miss company in general, just a few specific people.
Clare - jam + biscuit… I haven’t tried that before.
Comment by Mark — Tuesday February 21 2006 @ 3:54 pm
The force is strong with you young man. You’ll be fine.
Comment by Ross — Tuesday February 21 2006 @ 7:39 pm
:)
Comment by Mark — Wednesday February 22 2006 @ 11:41 am
[…] And then I read a post by Mark who is a very nice bloke living in Sydney, but who has lived in Perth most of his life. After a few months back in Perth, he’s arrived back in Sydney and is now feeling a little lonely. I actually thought about him over the weekend, recalling that twelve months ago, he’d gone to Fair Day and had seen the stall declaring the need for a “Clitocracy” (I’m still pondering how it’s pronounced, let alone where it’s found!). I thought for a moment on the weekend that maybe I should have invited him, but decided not to, thinking it probably wasn’t his thing anyway. But anyway, Mark is a really nice guy and I hope he gets through this difficult period, a period which I totally understand, given my experiences in Perth. […]
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