Everybody needs a hobby.
You’d think it would be dealt with privately. Some amount of discretion perhaps. But no. Sorry. Couldn’t be arranged. Although, to be fair, they tried. Almost whole-heartedly. They really did think everything was going to be hunky dory - and so did I - but as it turned out we were all mistaken. Sadly mistaken. So very. sadly. mistaken.
My mother, dear sweet mother, recieved a letter today. It was actually addressed to no one at all but it arrived at her house. From Pathwest. So she opened it and there was a bill from Pathwest for one HIV test, taken in January. She searched her mind. Had she taken an AIDS test recently? (I’m amazed she even stopped to think about that… what the hell does she get up to?) Well, no, she hadn’t taken any tests. So she rings me up and asks me about it, because I was there in January. What was the deal with this HIV test?
And here’s the point - Pathwest was allocated the test by Dr. Tampi in West Perth who was contracted to run a general check for all sorts of serious diseases by Concept Fertility Centre in Subiaco. Yes, my mother now knows that I was a sperm donor. Thankyou people. That was a great effort.
You know what surprised me most? She was all like, ‘isn’t that nice of you?!’ Not preoccupied with the inherent embarrassing nature of the operation or anything like that, she could only focus on the positive aspects, ie. the several people who will potentially be getting rugrats out of my generous contribution. Figure it out. The worst thing in life, she says, is not to be able to have kids. And there’s a definite drive for the donations going on at the moment because there aren’t many men who are as Ready Willing and Able (with the emphasis on Able) as I am.
So I’ll have to send a nasty email off to Concept Fertility berating them for their lack of confidentiality and general administrative bungling. Still, it could have been much worse I think.
I can forsee my having to do a much more detailed writeup on this hitherto confidential part of my life as well. Stay tuned for that one… :|
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Sue. Sue and sue hard.
Meanwhile, you donated sperm?!?! Interesting. Does it feel weird thinking there could be kids out there that are biologicially yours?
Comment by audrey — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 12:46 am
Not really. It’s only DNA after all, and even if they’re ‘mine’ in some sense I don’t see it as a big thing. Also, I ticked the ‘Lesbians OK’ box (you get a choice about that) and the idea of impregnating lesbians / helping to create idyllic lesbian families is pretty awesome.
Comment by Mark — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 9:33 am
Also, I ticked the ‘Lesbians OK’ box (you get a choice about that) and the idea of impregnating lesbians / helping to create idyllic lesbian families is pretty awesome.
Gosh, the fact that that’s even a choice you get to make is pretty horrific. Who else gets a box to be ticked? Can you say that you don’t want heterosexual people to get your sperm?
Comment by boofuls — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 11:54 am
I know it’s a donation, but do you get paid for the duty? If so, sounds like an interesting and worthwhile sideline gig on grabbing more cash in hand.
Comment by Switch — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 12:04 pm
Holy shit.
That’s fucking crazy cool. I’m gonna start walking around Perth saying “Mark” to all newborn babies I come across in the hope that some kind of name recognition of their genetic father is embedded in their genome.
Nice work.
Comment by Tomás Ford — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 5:18 pm
OK, here’s the lowdown:
I never asked if there was a ‘lesbians ONLY’ box that I could tick (it was an interview, not really a form) and I really regret not finding out. I didn’t want to seem desperate to choose where it was going I guess. And there were no other things like that - eg. ‘pls don’t make any interracial babies’ (though I think they have that in the States).
As for money - it paid, but not well enough to consider it for a full-time career :P If you have some spare time though, and think you’d be comfortable with it, then there’s a bit of money to be had.
Tomas - ta matey! They’ll be out there…
Comment by Mark — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 6:12 pm
What is it about straight boys and lesbians…? :)
Comment by James — Tuesday May 23 2006 @ 10:23 pm
That is pretty shitty. Though to be fair I have a healthy lack of respect for anything medical that happens west of, say, Penrith - especially if it crosses borders. We are talking seriously fucking incompetent and I have seen incompetent first hand [oh, bad pun - unintended].
Still, I can think of things that it would be worse for a parent to receive in the mail. They could have accidentally sent her your seminal fluid analysis - family or no there are something that nobody needs to know.
Comment by nailpolishblues — Wednesday May 24 2006 @ 1:18 am
James - I was half-joking, but I think we generally realise that sex would look better if men weren’t involved.
Nails - ’seminal fluid analysis’. They never gave me a copy of that. I should get it and attach it to my CV / post it on my office door / make it into a t-shirt.
Comment by Mark — Wednesday May 24 2006 @ 6:41 pm
Um, dude, that’s one test you can be sure you passed - else they would have told you to piss off very quickly.
Get a copy - your test you have a right to it. Plus, they are hilarious to read.
Comment by nailpolishblues — Wednesday May 24 2006 @ 11:42 pm
“I was half-joking, but I think we generally realise that sex would look better if men weren’t involved.”
All this AND you love Gender Studies lecturers? You really are a catch…
Comment by audrey — Thursday May 25 2006 @ 12:39 am
What can I say? I’m a complicated man searching for the one girl who understands me.
Comment by Mark — Thursday May 25 2006 @ 8:52 pm