Cute but deadly: the future of urban warfare.
I have a fantastic idea. Instead of using expensive and unreliable roadside bombs, terrorists could implant guinea pigs with spiky bits of metal and set them free. Then, when someone runs over the guinea pig in their car, they’ll get a flat tyre.
See? It’s a little furry-spiky ball of destruction, and God help anyone who just decides to stamp on it with their feet. The infidels won’t be able to resist squishing the cute little creature, and they won’t know what’s coming when they do! Entire armies will be immobilised! Vehicles will be ruined! The toughest and meanest soldiers will be rendered lame because they won’t be able to resist jumping up and down on the cute little guinea pigs!
I figure we sell ‘em by the dozen. With little exercise wheels for them to train on and tiny army helmets just for fun:
Order yours today! Buy 500 and we’ll thrown in a high-explosive terrapin!
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Question: Who the heck jumps up and down on cute little guinea pigs? Are you some sort of crazy person?!
But, hell yeah, I’d buy 500 guinea pigs if they had little helmets. PLUS I WANT THAT TERRORPIN (get it?).
Comment by boofuls — Monday July 24 2006 @ 8:02 pm
Well, I can imagine jumping on guinea pigs - in a kind of Monty Python way - and I’m especially confident that army soldiers would do it, see as how nasty they have to be.
The Terrorpin(tm) is on it’s way, equipped with an 18-inch depleted uranium tipped shell.
Comment by Mark — Tuesday July 25 2006 @ 8:12 pm