Let’s talk relationships (and why I should have more of them)
After reading this post by Juicy Lucy - or as I call her, J-Lu - I have a few thoughts. And yeah, if you’re lazy you don’t need to read the back story.
The Onus of Sleaze. It’s fair to say that men are usually expected to make the first move. At least this is what a lot of girls seem to feel, on account of they are shy little mousies like J-Lu; and as a guy, I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be outgoing and make the first move. But of course, the vast majority of us don’t have the foggiest idea of what that entails (except for what we see in movies, which ain’t necessarily anything like the truth) and so there is fuckedupness. Guys with more personality and less confidence - people like me who are wonderful and deserve to be drowning in it - will let opportunities slip by because it’s easier that way, and girls with lots of makeup* and big boobs** will get hit on by drunken idiots who think that’s what they’re supposed to do.
The onus of sleaze is therefore too far weighted on the male side, and I would much rather live in a country town where, if you’re not related to her, a girl can’t take her eyes off you. (Based on a true story, by the way.) Anyhow, I hereby resolve to be outgoing more often, and exhort the womenfolk to do the same.
Friends with Partial Benefits. I never heard about this before, but J-Lu and Winter both seem to point to the existence of a relationship that involves:
a) friendship
b) making out sometimes
c) no sex
What’s the deal? I thought FwB (cause that’s what all the cool kids are callling it) was all about chicks being used for sex, but now there seems to be a half-way, not-below-the-pants version. I wonder if this is something I could be interested in - like, as a pastime. Since I Say No To Casual Sex and can’t bring myself to whip out the utensil for anything less than the possibility of a long term relationship, maybe I should be a makeout slut instead.
Or would I still feel cheated?
*Men are suckers for a foundation-plastered visage. Fuck knows why.
**Ditto.
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Would you still feel cheated? I guess you could give it a chance and see how it works out for you. It’s a low risk experiment.
Comment by Winter — Thursday August 31 2006 @ 4:56 pm
Pash and dash is good.
Comment by James — Thursday August 31 2006 @ 5:23 pm
You would love the cheated feeling!
No, I think these arrangements tend to be between single kids who aren’t ready for the full on relationship so they get the physical benefits looked after, generally by exes or with flirty friends.
It’s not totally common, but it’s not rare either.
Would it be something you’d do though anyway (either the PG or R rated version)
Comment by Lucy — Thursday August 31 2006 @ 7:38 pm
I’m not with you on the first asterisk, but I am with you on the whole, “what?”-ness of it all. Of the whole having one party be burdened with having to make the first move.
Comment by Switch — Thursday August 31 2006 @ 11:23 pm
You can’t make the first move on a young man. Young men travel in packs with a high arsehole quotient.
The old ones don’t even need encouragement.
I believe this is not called a win-win situation.
Comment by nailpolishblues — Friday September 1 2006 @ 12:03 am
Winter - Yes! An experiment is a good way to put it.
James - Pash and dash? I thought you’d be more the type to root and scoot…
Lucy - I think I’d go PG. But what if they were the ones getting cheated? Then I’d be distraught all over again.
Switch - Hell yeah. I don’t get the makeup thing either, btw. Gross.
Nails - I see your point in a big way. But girls travel in packs as well, mind you.
Comment by Mark — Friday September 1 2006 @ 6:42 pm
See and that is why you’re being smart by not getting involved with someone in this scenario.
Especially if it turns a laidback arrangement into something to fret about and not enjoy.
Comment by Lucy — Friday September 1 2006 @ 7:16 pm
You know, it can’t be all girls that have issues with making the first move. I have distincly hazy memories of being hit on by women - they didn’t seem to find it all that difficult.
Sorry, I just remembered this while I was thinking about Lucy’s post but as I was here at the time…
Comment by nailpolishblues — Friday September 1 2006 @ 10:47 pm
A lot of my friends are comfortable approaching boys and do it regularly, I’m just a little shy for that. What tends to happen is they do the opening and then I move in. Like a parasite really :)
Sorry for hijacking your comments Mark
Comment by Lucy — Saturday September 2 2006 @ 10:10 am
That’s okay, I’m enjoying the attention :)
Comment by Mark — Saturday September 2 2006 @ 2:17 pm