It’s whining time! a) First off, nobody understands me…
The patient is often worried about having a broken rib, and may have a sensation of bony crepitus or abnormal rib movement. Breath sounds bilaterally should be normal unless there is substantial splinting or a pneumothorax or hemothorax is present. There is point tenderness over the site of the injury and occasionally bony crepitance can be felt.
I’m beginning to think I really do have a cracked rib. Of course, I don’t have any bony crepitance - hell, I don’t even know what bony crepitance is, I’m just assuming it means ‘crunchiness’ because of the sound of the word - but the other bits fit the picture, such as how I tend to yell curse words in a gruff and manly voice whenever I sneeze. Judging by what I’ve read on the internet (and since when was the internet ever misleading or wildly inaccurate?) things like this tend to be caused by blunt force trauma, such as sports injuries. I guess I could go to the GP’s office next door and tell them how painful it is and score some prescription painkillers, plus maybe some cool X-rays, but I don’t know if I can be fucked and stuff like that tends not to have any effect on me. All I know is, with my mum bringing me groceries in her car on account of how shopping sucks when you can only lift things with one hand, the ‘take it like a man’ option has well and truly passed. I think I’m down to ‘whine like little sissy boy and hope for sympathy’. I must be bored. I should get of my arse and do something useful.
11 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Would have thought crepitance is the factor or percentage at which you can feel some of the bone jutting out from under your skin. God damn that thrilling feeling.
Comment by Switch — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 1:08 am
Awww. Poor Mark and his poor broken rib. Awww. :(
Hope it’s not broken. Hope you’re just being a malingerer. Wouldn’t that be the nicer option?
Comment by boofuls — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 12:53 pm
Kitten (I’m calling you kitten if you’re in the sissy stage) go to the doctors.
If it’s not broken it’s still likely to be bruised, both are incredibly painful.
And get a hot nurse to give you sponge baths.
Comment by Lucy — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 1:47 pm
Switch - ooh, sounds painful. Tell us more.
Lucy - Dammit, that’s a good idea. And just as a point of interest I don’t think anyone’s ever called me ‘kitten’ before.
Comment by Mark — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 7:42 pm
Liz - Ah well, I guess so. But the sympathy angle is working for me too.
Comment by Mark — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 7:57 pm
At the moment I call everyone kitten, but I especially like calling boys kitten.
Plus you know there’s purring involved and stuff.
Comment by Lucy — Thursday September 21 2006 @ 10:14 pm
Mate, it’s your crepitance we’re looking at. Always nice to nudge for those on the outside, ball breaking tear dropper for they who would be the bearer of the ribs.
Comment by Switch — Friday September 22 2006 @ 12:41 am
Lucy - I wonder if we can turn it around. Say, let me call you a manly name like ‘guy’ or ‘bloke’.
So how’s it hangin’, guy?
Switch - I’m sticking to my guns on this one, and no amount of gonzo can throw me off the trail if you really have a story of your own.
Comment by Mark — Friday September 22 2006 @ 2:53 pm
I think to really flip the name calling, “Champ” or “Chief” to a girl is akin to “Snoogins” or “Kitten” to a bloke.
Cracked ribs on the front aren’t as bad as ones possibly closer to the back and along the spine. Down in that territory, where the naked masseuse will walk down as you stick sushi rolls up your nose, it’s where the crepitance meets the sanity and insanity having a nice cup of hot fudge sprinkled with desiccated coconut.
No stories here doll face.
Comment by Switch — Friday September 22 2006 @ 11:47 pm
Manly sympathy. Poor boy, all broken and pained but still battling on like a real man. :(
Can you lift pots off the stove yet?
Comment by boofuls — Saturday September 23 2006 @ 1:55 pm
Switch - great pet name ideas. I will now use them constantly! “Hey champ.” “Hey chief.” Thanks for the crepitation info, too ;)
Liz - Yeah, I think I’ve just about done milking it. Pots are a difficulty, but I can more ‘em okay.
Comment by Mark — Saturday September 23 2006 @ 4:47 pm