So, I went to Tom & Eleesha’s baby’s birthday party on Saturday. I was a bit - I don’t know, scared maybe - because Lu was going to be there with her new doe-eyed and clean-shaven husband and I hadn’t seen either of them really since I left for Sydney almost two years ago, madly in love with her and bitterly disappointed that all she cared about was how to bake him a cake that his navy friends would like. I’m sure everyone has moments like this, don’t they?

Down at the beach I hung out with the grandparents for a while until everyone else showed up. I could tell I was a bit nervous because whenever I wanted to say yes to something I gave two thumbs up instead of saying anything, and couldn’t bloody stop myself from doing it. I had to sit on my hands so people didn’t think I was crazy. And then everybody rocked up, including Lu and her husband. They walked over, her in red and him in an amusing t-shirt with a sexual innuendo on it, and he said ‘hi’. So I said ‘hi’ also. And that was about how it went.

It may seem stupid, but this is the thing that gets me: how much meaning a simple monosyllabic word like ‘hi’ can have, if said to the right person at the right time. After that it was like we were all back in high school, and I chose to play my part by not saying very much or seeming very interested in anything. Just sort of ride it out and flirt with Belinda when I was bored, which was pretty much how high school went. He even told me the story of how he had shingles, and it was pretty normal since I didn’t know what shingles was and being a year older he has been telling me about stuff I didn’t know about since, well, always.

Which reminds me how, many years ago, it was at his house while his parents were away that I took of Pippa Stepanoff’s bra. I never realised how imporant he was in making that happen. So I have decided to name my car in honour of him, as a symbol of some kind. I shall call it: ‘The Husband’.