Love at first sight. A tale of three dentists.
I can basically remember three dentists I’ve seen. There were the crap primary school dentists who chiselled a big hole in one of my molars, but they don’t count.
The first was Doctor Lee. Or maybe Doctor Li. I can’t remember. Anyway, everyone else thought she was a pain in the arse because she always wanted to do fillings and gave everybody hell about brushing their teeth better, but I had a big crush on her. She was HOT. Hot in the slightly creepy maternal / sadistic way only a female dentist can be. I wanted her desperately. Needless to say it was a love-hate relationship: she would beam at me when I came in and then break my heart by criticising my brushing technique as I left. I kept coming back of course.
Then I moved to Sydney and went to the university clinic. The dentist there was pure malignant evil. He autistically threw me into the chair and scraped crudely at my teeth for half an hour, then cajoled me into buying a $25 bottle of ’special’ mouthwash that tasted like pool water. Fucker.
Then today I went to my local dentist - and it was love at first sight. He was a big burly bloke with a big burly bearded niceness about him. He asked enthusiastically about me and took an interest in what I said, cracking jokes left, right and centre like a big burly joke-cracking machine. Then he did the checkup and it didn’t hardly hurt at all. He must have some kind of new technique. I wish he was my dad. His nurse also looked fairly well in love with him, and I think you would have to be after being around him every day (either that or he would get annoying and you would have to stab him in the eye with something sharp and close-to-hand).
How excellent. Now I can’t wait to go back and get those expensive fillings I probably don’t need, just so I can bask in the glory for a little bit longer :D
14 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI
Hi! I have a hot lady female dentist who seems calm. I haven’t been here in ages cos of uni stealing my life and it is fun now to read many posts simultaneously. Goodbye now.
Comment by Clare — Wednesday October 18 2006 @ 8:30 pm
What, no grills? hehehe ehhhh :(
Comment by Mish — Wednesday October 18 2006 @ 9:06 pm
My dentist’s assistant is blonde and perky and she rubs her hands gently up and down your arm and murmurs sweet nothings into your ear so that you don’t realise that there’s a gigantic needle being jammed into your gum. She is fabulous.
Comment by T. — Wednesday October 18 2006 @ 9:51 pm
Dr. Li.
Bitch.
Comment by Tomás Ford — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 2:47 am
I only go to the dentist every ten or fifteen years or so. They always say the same thing… “I can’t believe you haven’t had a cleaning in (10-15) years! Your teeth are so clean!”
I brush twice a day, the right way, with nearly perfect regularity (discounting the odd late weekend night). I hardly ever floss.
Makes me wonder what sort of gross indifference to hygiene other people must possess to get such mossy green teeth in just one year.
- M
Comment by Marcheline — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 3:30 am
My orthodontist/dentist was a self-important fellow who had an annoying habit of resting his hands/wrists/arms on my face/head while performing whatever medieval torture was the daily special on my teeth.
Comment by Winter — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 5:07 am
I have yet to have a sexy dentist.
Boo!
Comment by colonel eggroll — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 6:49 am
I have moved to Melbourne (3 years ago) and am yet to go in search of a dentist. I have those sort of annoying teeth that Marcehline possesses. They are kind of self sufficient in that aspect.
Comment by hawkeye23 — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 9:33 am
the first time i met my dentist he looked int my mouth, ummed and ahhd and then said, shaking his head sadly, “oh dear. this is very very bad.”
…pause…
“i’m not going to make any money out of you at all, your teeth are perfect”
ha ha ha
Comment by serrin — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 11:02 am
Clare - Hiya. I still read your site pretty much all the time, but since your comments died I bet you don’t know it.
Misha - What sort of grills? Do you mean that I wasn’t prescribed braces, or that I didn’t get yelled at, or that they didn’t have a barbecue on? I don’t get it :(
T - ooh, that sounds kinda neat. I’ll take one of those.
Tom - Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Your problem is you just don’t understand her. And you have hilarious teeth.
March - It’s not like that. You must be predisposed to healthy teeth somehow, seeing as you don’t even floss and you’re still doing okay. Do you eat no sugar at all?
Winter - yes, I can see how that would be a problem. Did he ever poke you in the eye with his wristwatch?
Julia - Keep searching and one day your prince will come ;)
Hawkeye - I don’t know what the deal is with you people…
Serrin - See? Funny dentists are the greatest thing ever.
Comment by Mark — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 1:28 pm
“He autistically threw me into the chair”
dramatic re-enactment please! thats one of the best lines ive seen for a long time.
Comment by bob — Thursday October 19 2006 @ 2:27 pm
I don’t how to re-enact that one… I imagine he was thinking more about his weekend golf game than my teeth.
Comment by Mark — Friday October 20 2006 @ 2:00 pm
Grills, a la the Nelly song. Or was it some other rapper? The bling for your teeth. I’m hoping it never catches on in Australia.
Comment by Mish — Saturday October 21 2006 @ 12:51 am
OMFG that is hard core disgusting. You’d look a bit ‘Moonraker’ wouldn’t you?
Comment by Mark — Sunday October 22 2006 @ 3:14 am