When the new housing estate down the road opened up, they put some of those triangular plastic signs out on the main street for people to come and look at the display houses. Although we’re normally quite tolerant people, this annoyed us because a) one of the signs was too tall to see oncoming traffic over and b) we don’t want crappy signs on our median strip anyway. (We’re pretty anti-capitalist down here, you see.) So we wrote to the council and, although the signs were not strictly meant to be there, they never told the developers to take them away.

With the council’s lax attitude in mind, I decided that since the signs were on public land, they must be public property and thus fair game for me to nick. So I nicked them, and now I have two signs in my shed. Which leads me to:

An Experiment.

Hypothesis: our wickedly bourgeois local council turns a blind eye to corporate signs on median strips, but will immediately pounce on any sign bearing a humourous or social message.

Method: recycle the original signs to deliver a culture-jammed, or completely different message, then put them back where they were.

All I need is a few bricks and some ideas about what to put on the signs. Things like:

‘Such & Such Homes: what nature reserve?‘
‘Such & Such Homes: no ethnics in our neighbourhood.’
‘Such & Such Homes: always use a rubber Johnny.’
or
‘Such & Such Homes: and the truth shall set you free.’

Or perhaps just a nice message about what a wonderful day it is. I’m not sure if I’d be brave enough to go back there and put it up… but I might, if you can think up a funny message for my sign :-)

Join in the fun and colour-in your own cow at Spiceblog.

The Monkey Bar (formerly the Globe Nightclub) has come up nicely. The old Globe part hasn’t changed much, but the new bar at the back looks good, with lots of windows and a warehouse vibe. It’s one of the few band venues that doesn’t look like a concrete bunker from the inside, but this does mean you get some noise coming in from the Amplifier* when the music is quiet.

Kat and I rocked up at about ten pm, meaning we missed Chrism+Fenris and Steve Parkin, but we did get to see the Tigers and.. who were those guys? Adam Said Galore. It was a funny lineup choice putting those two bands together, because they sound very alike. They both have a kind of Indie, noodley, not-much-lyrics thing going on, but the Tigers also have a keyboard / trumpet player and a really nerdy psycho-lookin’ lead singer, so they came off a bit better. Nothing against Adam Said Galore - they’re very good - but I prefer the Tigers. I can’t listen to two bands of the same genre in a row anyway. I’d laugh if they put Ten Speed Racer after that - then ASG would have been the ones who looked interesting and innovative.

While we were there we bumped into Gabby, who’s getting a PhD proposal of her own together to study creative writing. She wants to do a collage of politically correct feminsm and sado-masochism. I imagine Gabby’s take on that would be quite confronting, if not downright terrifying, so it should be an interesting bit of literature :) We also saw some people from Murdoch, Chris from C+F, and Natalija of the Stolen Typewriter who was helping out on the door. We didn’t stay around too long, but it was good to get out and see some bands. I only just realised this, but with a few weeks’ respite from loud music my ears have lost that little ringing sound. Now, like a biomed researcher off to the bottle-o, I’m going back for more abuse.

*Amplifier still sucks. It’s way too lound, the drinks are too expensive and there’s nothing to sit on.

Haha - I changed my domain and you didn’t even notice ;) Please update your links and bookmarks.

Why? Simply put - I got sick of the hamster. It was too cute and you know, I don’t wanna be chained to the ‘cute’ thing. And why the Paper Trap? I’ll just say it works on a few levels and leave it at that.

So nighty-night and keep up the duck-love.

X
Mark

1. Do you, when answering the phone quickly, often hit yourself in the head with the receiver?

2. Would you rather take a bus than parallel park?

3. Is your TV guide and/or clothing stained with pasta sauce?

4. Do you often have trouble putting on a t-shirt?

5. Are you afraid to dance with anyone who hasn’t signed a waiver?

If you answered ‘yes’ to one or all of the above, you may be uncoordinated. Being unco is a serious and embarrassing condition, but there are people who can help you - people who understand your pain. Why not talk to a counsellor today?

1300-UNCO-LINE

Who knows? One day you could be out there ice skating too.

It’s a good thing to know that people aren’t that smart. They know how to put on their everyday clothes, do up a tie, et cetera, but when you give them an academic robe, they have trouble figuring it out. Where do arms go? How high on the shoulders? Should I put my tie over the top of the ribbon or under it?

The smooth facade that most people present is the result of years of practice. When the time comes to learn something new, they don’t always get it right. I’m glad about that - we’re all on the same level, more or less.

So the graduation ceremony was fun for a Wednesday night. Good bits: getting another degree, underground parking. Bad bits: no free drinks, had to clap a lot.

I don’t normally do this sort of thing but, well, this is fucked:

Convert to Islam, Bashir tells Howard
The alleged head of the terrorist organisation believed to be behind the Bali and Australian Embassy bombings has called on Prime Minister John Howard and United States President George Bush to convert to Islam or close their embassies in Indonesia.

That’s the front page of today’s West Australian, making it pretty clear that JI wants us all worshipping Allah by next week or else. Or else what, exactly? Here’s the last paragraph of the report, which I assume only barely made the cut:

“If the West think it’s impossible, then we all should agree on our differences and learn to apply mutual respect. Don’t stand and pass judgement on Islam, and tell us of what we should or shouldn’t do. In the meantime we shall learn to do the same.”

Ohkayyyyy. If we don’t convert right away, their going to insist on -oh my gosh- mutual tolerance. Funny, because at the start of the report I thought we were gearing up for World War Three. I was just about to go and start digging myself an air raid shelter when I realised that The West had completely misrepresented Bashir, to the point of pretty much just making shit up. What a complete disgrace.

…rare find, these days.

I woke up real late today - around midday - when I could feel my face melting into the pillow from the heat and kid across the road turned up his stereo. I had dreamt the night before of waking up loosely draped in sheets with a nice cool breeze drifting through the window but the art of sleeping in remains elusive and I always wake up feeling groggy and pathetic. If there were a deity up there, she would be shaking her omniscient head at the way I waste the precious moments of my mortal life. My course of action, therefore, was to watch DVDs all day, stopping only to play drums along to a Doors album.

Morgan’s hernia operation was a success, and he is now walking around as per normal. He’s not going to be getting any action for a while (in fact, that was probably what gave him the hernia) but he will be able to play some bass again next week. We will then be able to mourn Johnny Ramone’s passing by belting out ‘Blitzkrieg Bop’ as fast and as loud as we can. -Funny thing: I was enjoying the Ramones mix tape in the car today, but then Kate Bush’s ‘Wutherhing Heights’ came on. I never realised it before, but this is probably the coolest song ever to have on the stereo while cruising around in the car. It’s just so fucking inappropriate.

Heeeethchilffe!!
It’s me Cathee
I’ve come ho-o-ome…

*swoons*

Work, allergies, Pisceans, Shrek, X-Press, Rob Totten and the Citizen’s Electoral Council, Rove Live, underage smokers, Apple iPod, NASA, the Freemasons, Superman, suicide bombers, JK Rowling and people who don’t answer their emails. You suck.

You wouldn’t know the difference between Jim Morrison and Van Morrison.

Yaay. Present were Marisa, David, Bret, a fraction of Richard, Sarah and Graham.*

It seems like there’s a new Perth Blogs website in the works, to go with the upcoming conference which will be great. From what I’ve seen, it will be slick. Anyway - boring. I just want to thank everyone for coming down and saying Hi. Luv yas.

Now for the Main Event:

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day (this Sunday).

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

*Comment me if I messed those URLs up.