Little known fact: the universe is exceedingly old. Amazingly old. But if you were to add up all the lives of all the human beings on Earth in years and put them end to end, they would be many times longer than the universe itself. That is to say, the story of human life is not only much more interesting than the story of dust, rocks and stars, it is also a lot longer. Humanity thus represents incredible value for money.

Welcome to my NaNoWriMo novel, ‘The Satanic Dialogues’. Some bits have turned out quite funny, if I may say so myself, and I’m pretty happy with it. On the other hand I was in such a rush to get the dialogue down that big parts of it seem more like a script than a book and it can be hard to read.

The best bit is the last chapter, and chapter 4 of part 2 (In the Dark) has all the yucky bits. There are also some good bits with Socrates in if you search for his name. Enjoy :)

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NB: I only share this novel in the understanding that a) it isn’t fit for print and b) that other people might share as well - you know who you are.

X Mark.

Here’s the coathanger tree that we made in Hay Street today. I count six coathangers; two mine, one Kat’s and the rest belonging to persons unknown. It would have been nice to see it completely festooned, but I think we got the point across.

Rock ‘n roll, guys :)

So it’s all over. 51,500 words, which is pretty much a short novel. I have to say that it didn’t really need to be any longer. It probably should have been put out of its misery around the 35,000 word mark, in fact, but here it is regardless. Whole and complete, except for gross inconsistencies and scenes that I just couldn’t be fucked writing.

So, I’m wondering if I should post it on the web.

Pro: It’s a fun story.
Con: It’s very long. Can’t assume anyone would want to read it.
Pro: Someone has to read it.
Con: It’s full of sex and violence. People might think I’m a pervert.
Pro: Most people already believe that.
Con: Some of the characters are based on real people and they might not find the resemblance flattering.
Pro: Um… that’s it.

So, I dunno. Maybe I should let a few people read it first.

Meanwhile, I got The Doors in Concert from Morgan the other day and isn’t that a fine-ass record? I always found them to be sterile and contrived when packaged into three minutes, but to hear them taking their time and just doing what they do is amazing. It’s so energetic and intense, and you can feel the excitement in the crowd because there’s liberal amounts of screaming and cheering in the mix.

You’re right if you say The Doors lack subtlety and sophistication, but it’s not a fatal flaw. The fact that they have all these highbrow pretentions that they can’t follow through on is part of the fun. And I mean, since when did Bob Dylan write good lyrics? I’m serious about this: GO BACK AND READ DYLAN’S LYRICS. THEY’RE NOT THAT GOOD. Highway 61 sucks for one. My point is that who’s to say that The Doors actually were that bad by rock ‘n roll standards? I think they were actually quite okay, and what they lacked in that department they make up for by trying hard and being battlers.

Damn that’s a good album.

You know what? It was fucking hot today. Now I’m sitting in my room listening to Prince and there’s a can of booze and a Red Rooster salad waiting in the fridge. I’m going to watch the first half an hour of Vanilla Sky then get annoyed at it and put on Ghost World.

After that, I’ll get the second-last chapter of my NaNoWriMo novel finished, which will put me at about 47,000 words. Only half of the ending and some holes to fill, then she’s ready. I’m actually quite pleased with the novel, despite the second half being really rushed and artless. The violence is pretty violent and the sex is quite graphic - both I’ve found to be very ‘interesting’ things to write - and the whole ‘use schlock where you run out of witty things to say’ tactic has worked a treat.

Big cheers to all the other NaNoWriMo people who are near the end. Time has just flown by, hasn’t it?

So I went to see Hero last night, and I have to agree that it is a very fucking awesome film. The story is really intense and the cinematography is beautiful. If you’re thinking of going to see it, then do that right now and read the rest of this post later. It’s a bit of a spoiler.

…

So I was wondering, what’s it all about? Obviously it’s a film about the concept of ‘empire’. War is contrary the common good because people are senselessly and mechanically slaughtered and their culture is destroyed, which we see in the attack on the calligraphy school. On the other hand, without war there can be no empire, and the states will remain in conflict forever. As the Emperor guy points out, a war in this sense is in support of the common good. That’s the major contradicton being analysed in the film, as I see it.

So, when the film ends and everyone decides that the empire should win, what is that saying? That the power of the people is best invested in a state, and even though there will have to be horrific violence done to make that happen, that it’s better than the alternative? If it is, then isn’t the film just standing up for the idea of a ‘war to end all wars’? That would be a very narrow and oversimplified view of politics, so I hope that the film’s writers meant something else. I’m just not sure what it is, though.

Another thing that bugged me was that there are no scenes of ‘the people’. The only characters are the soldiers, the assassins and the Emperor guy. Why would you make a movie that is about politics and the greater good without putting in scenes of the people that they’re arguing about? There is one exception - the calligraphy school - but the calligraphers’ presence as the citizens is still highly metaphorical. I think this leads the film to a sense of abstraction and airiness where the only actors on stage are the warriors and their ideals. This is hammered in even more because it’s all happening in the middle of a desert. I just don’t know why they did it that way. Perhaps the final truth of the film is that people are dying for ideals that are so abstract and lifeless they carry no significant meaning, though this doesn’t really fit with the epilogue about a unified China.

So, like, what’s going on there?

Oops, I forgot to go to the meetup this evening. Isn’t that odd?

ANyho0:

1) The spoken word band.
Pros: arty, easy to steal or licence material from other people, music mostly improvised. Cons: ego could not take unfavourable comparisons with Lake of Bass.

2) The hard-line modernist art-rock band.
Pros: genuinely original and edgy music, get to play really loud and be cynical all the time. Cons: would have to destroy any chances of success by railing against the ‘music industry machine’.

3) The cutesy-pie indie band.
Pros: it’s the ‘in’ thing, and I get to use all my old material. Cons: The Lucksmiths already proved it’s a bit annoying.

So if anyone wants to start one of these bands, drop me a comment :)

There are giggly girls next door. They’re my neighbours’ grandchildren, and they have some weird fascination with me. They came around this morning to deliver something for my mother and would not stop giggling while I was talking to them. I had to check that I’d put my shorts on.

Then, when I was out the front, digging in the garden, one girl came up and told me that the other’s brother had thrown her shoe into the backyard and could she come and get it. Does that sound like a setup to you? Because it sounds like one to me. We went and found the shoe though, and she ran off next door with it.

I guess I’m the centre of these fourteen-year-olds’ attention whenever they come to visit. It’s strange, because no one my age has ever treated me like that, as if I were obviously the hottest guy on the block. I like it. I feel kinda manly now. Like a… what would you call it? Let’s just say ’sex-god’ for the moment.

Yesterday I chopped down a tree. It was a bottlebrush, and lately it had been dying off for some reason. It was a great tree, but we didn’t know how to save it so we decided to get rid of it before green waste day. I did most of the chopping with a little red hatchet, which turned out to be just as fast as a saw and a lot less annoying - I’m no good at saws - so I’m planning to get a proper axe next time. When the tree came down, I could barely lift it to drag it to the kerb. The stump looked like a cartoon beaver had eaten it.

Anyhoo, I’m halfway through NaNoWriMo, and I’m just keeping ahead of the target word counts. This *is* a very hard task, seeing as I put way too much time into it and I’m only just getting it done. The next section will be much less reasonable, and I’m planning to just write whatever comes into my head, rather than having a complex plot like in part 1. I wonder if that will speed me up or slow me down?

Oh, and all of you suffering from comment spam: solidarity, brothers. I know your pain.

Big shout out to Avril Eade (who used to dance on stage with Uberfaust) for being in Australian Idol wearing her trademark white tiger suit. Woohoo!!

NaNoWriMo: 19,000 words and going nicely.

The next week was a bit like hell. There was no fire and brimstone of course, but all of the other features were there. With Wendy gone and Ben having turned into some kind of sociopath, Candy was around all the time. Chad and Kristie quickly found she was perfect company for him, being a complete raving lunatic bitch herself. She would spend all morning in the bathroom, all day bleeding Ben dry of money to go shopping with, and all night fucking him in her car. They would also fuck on the couch when Kristie wanted to watch TV, in the laundry while Chad was trying to sleep and in the kitchen when either of them was really hungry. The only bonus Chad could see was that he and Kristie were now drawn much closer together in their little circle of hate for Candy. He hadn’t managed to get Kristie into bed yet, but she did keep him up all night bitching about how fucked up Candy was, and this represented a step forward.
Chad still hadn’t paid back Spider for the three foils and lived in mortal fear that he would die the coming Wednesday if he couldn’t find the money. He went down to the Centrelink office a few more times to try and plead special circumstances with them, but to no avail. They told him everyone’s circumstances were special and to wait the two weeks for his birth certificate to come through. He even asked Kristie, but she had spent all her allowance on a novelty twenty-five litre bottle of Scotch that she couldn’t remember where she had put.
They also noticed that Rob was still gone. He had not returned since he went to get pizza, and that was more than a week ago. The petrol station where he worked called looking for him, but they didn’t know anything about where he could be either. Sooner or later someone would have to pay the rent, and they didn’t know who it would be.

Every so often someone will say to me “That’s the first time I’ve heard you swear.” This always surprises me because I think I swear quite a lot. Perhaps I just swear in my head when I’m thinking, though.