1) If the Spanish Armada had had a publicity department, they would have called it ‘Operation Infinite Justice.’ We are all descended from terrorists.

2) Am I the only one who gets Sardinia and Tunisia confused because they both sound like fish in a can?

Awfully depressed with my inability to type for more than two minutes. *sniff* Excuse my lack of comments on other blogs… am endeavouring to hibernate.

* * * *

Before the movie there was a talk from the promoters saying that in the early 80’s some guys almost made a HHGTTG movie and at the last minute changed their minds and shot ‘Ghostbusters’ instead. Considering how crap things could have turned out, we are really really lucky they waited. This movie totally kicks butt. Like the books and the TV show, the plot is slightly different from the original radio series but nothing is terribly out-of-place and if you’re a fan of the books like me you’re not going to be annoyed. In fact, if you think of it as a new take on an old story rather than a straght translation to film you will definitely get it.

Zooey Deschanel, as expected, was a total babe, and the romantic subplot with Arthur was kinda cute and English-ish. Arthur and Zaphod suffered a bit though. I think Martin Freeman’s acting style was captured better on The Office, since you miss the little awkward nuances when there’s special effects going on all around him - and Zaphod was portrayed as a drunken idiot with a bad American accent instead of the laid-back narcissist he deserves to be. Despite this, no one was completely crap, and the relatively well-preserved comic timing meant that everyone had at least one funny line.

For all the great stuff the filmmakers have done though, I wasn’t much impressed by the storytelling - the second half of the movie seemed rushed, as if they were trying to get through the rest of the plot by cutting out the fun things that get you there, which was really frustrating since the movie ran a lean 110 minutes or so. I understand why the plot was simplified, and it was done interestingly and respectfully, but it still could have been done without making every scene an action scene. Oh, and Slartibartfast was likeable, but nowhere near godly enough. Tut tut.

I don’t know about a series of sequels - it may depend on how well this movie does - but The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy at least works as a tribute to the late Douglas Adams and something for the fans to remember the series by. I’m giving it four stars for old times’ sake.

And for Zooey, of course. Mmmm… Zooey.

Oh deary me. There was a party at someone from uni’s place last night - it wasn’t a bad party of course, but me arms will fall off or something if I don’t do point form.

the nice Tequila

it’s a big apartment

mmm snacks

I made a joke, even

beers

reduced to *junior* Trivial Pursuit

which me and B won, on account of I knew Glen Shorrock was in Little River Band (yet cannot remember my own phone number).

FINALLY found and borrowed the Joanna Newson album (thx P!). She is the greatest.

&etc. Love + see you later when I hurt less

//Under Fire of a Different Kind: Robocop outside the Supreme Court after today’s hearing.

Today the Detroit law-enforcement android known as ‘Robocop’ faced the Supreme Court accused of distributing hundreds of Gigabytes of illegally copied music. Prosecutors also allege that large volumes of pornography were stored on the computerised police-officer’s hard-drive.

Robocop desperately tried to defend himself, telling reporters “I don’t have to answer to these wild accusations! I AM THE LAW!!” Judge Dredd is now also filing suit.

Robocop’s defense attorney said that a downward spiral of guns and random violence had seen the android fall on hard times. “The next generation of Pentiums will mean obsolescence for Robocop’s outdated hardware. He has overclocked himself and is now prone to overheating. Also, he has gone a long time without a good defragging.”

The police deartment’s internal affairs division is also investigating Robocop’s off-duty activities in response to claims that he is a member of the Ku Klux Klan. We don’t think that would be too surprising at all.

//Some of those that were robo-enforcers were the same that bore crosses.

T comes running past and sticks his head in the office, so I know something’s up. Then I hear the administrator down the hall shouting ‘BREATHE, BREATHE!!’ at someone who’s either having, or just had, a seizure on the hallway floor. I gather that it’s V, a Hungarian guy who I don’t know too well.

F goes to see and comes back. We exchange a few remarks and it seems like the ambos are taking care of V. There’s nothing we can do. Still, she sits there looking at her hands and needs to talk about it some more. I prod her a little bit while skim-reading a paper on my desk, but there really isn’t much to say. He has a wife in the US, but no one knows her number to call and tell her, etc. Nothing we can do. Restless, P hurries off down the hall again.

Soon a congregation forms out outside, of staff and PGs talking about what’s going on with V. They’re all concerned and wringing their hands and stuff. Thing is, they have nothing to talk about. The guy had a seizure and went to hospital - end of story. Now they’re wondering what will happen to him and asking each other twice if anyone knew he had epilepsy. So I go and do some photocopying. I mean, you can be concerned and still do photocopying, can’t you?

And as I photocopied, people would walk past and raise their eyebrows at me - the all-purpose gesture for use while walking past offices that can mean anything from ‘Hey there!’ to ‘Fuck this fire drill, man.’ This time, I wonder if they mean ‘What are you photocopying for? A man might be dying out there.’ Perhaps I was being callous just working on. I don’t know. All of this sympathy and consternation is weird.

Why can’t a man photocopy without being troubled by matters of conscience?

G’s having a seizure down the hall at this very moment. I hope he’s going to be okay…

Watching Robocop last night, it has become clear to me that Robocop is no hero at all. He is nothing more than an iron-clad vigilante on a neurotic quest for justice at all costs. Far from being the object of our sympathy, he is an unfeeling automaton with no regard for human life.

Blatant breaches of procedure and ethics comitted:

Robocop goes out on partol without a proper briefing.

Robocop pacifies an offender and leaves him at the scene of the crime. The offender clearly needs medical attention - his head is lodged in a commercial freezer.

Robocop shoots an offender in the genitals without provocation.

Robocop interrupts hostage negotiations and takes matters into his own hands.

Robocop throws the hostage-taker from a window without needing to.

Robocop illegally downloads files from the Police database.

Robocop uses that information to break into a house.

Without backup, Robocop busts a drug factory and kills most of the occupants. He makes only one arrest and uses excessive force in doing so.

In the final scene, Robocop shoots the suspect in the chest no less than three times at point blank range. Again, the suspect is fatally propelled through a window and no arrest is made.

Yep, Robocop is a loose cannon. Worse - a mechanical fascist. On the plus side, I really liked the comedy parts of the movie. They were bit like Starship Troopers, although Troopers is still way better - that movie is *so* underrated.

BTW: If you wanna hear some real cop stories, go visit Marcheline.

washing up sucks

rsi sucks

It looks as if the world may have to adjust to a strange new truth about Michael Jackson. He may not actually be a child molester. Who would have thought?

In other news, I apologise for my lack of patronage & comments this week. bad rsi. no type no more

Here
A public servant putters with a knife
And paints the railing red
Forever, as a mouse
Cracks walnuts by the headstones of the dead
Whose chiselled angels peer
At you, as if their art were long as life.
-Robert Lowell

I remember once standing in a cemetary where a stone angel raised her hand into the air. This person I was with looked about for anyone watching, then snapped the index finger from the angel’s upraised hand. It came off easily and she put it in her pocket later to add to her collection.

This must have been an offensive act. When I asked her, she said simply that the angel, raising its hand so poiusly toward heaven, deserved to be taken down a peg or two. (Those may not have been her exact words.) I guess she was right - the angel was certainly being snotty and, let’s face it, the gesture was beautiful. One tiny but fatal flaw in all that perfect white stonework… yes it was offensive, but a calculated and brilliant offense.

Now, when I think about it, I see that breaking the stone angel’s finger was her own way of reaching toward heaven, and one no less pious than the angel’s. This makes me smile because I remember her just like that, and I know I’m the same, too. You can say why a million ways, but that’s not the point. The point is that we snapped off every little finger we could find in our minds long before anyone tried it on a real monument. Everything was fair game but Beethoven. Still is.

I wonder, then, if I could nip that finger off myself. I wonder if I ever will.

The question is important, at least to me it is. I know which way I want to decide; but would I, under the harshest possible light, be willing to stand up for it? I don’t know. Perhaps the lack of such a harsh light is reason enough not worry.

Behold through you as bad as the rest,
Through the laughter, dancing, dining, supping, of people,
Inside of dresses and ornaments, inside of those wash’d and trimm’d faces,
Behold a secret silent loathing and despair.
-Walt Whitman