Finally, by around ten o’clock, I was out in the open country, having left the following note on my mother’s night table: “I beseech you not to send the police after me for I am carrying a gun, and the first bullet will be for the policeman, the second for myself.”

Story of the Eye, Georges Bataille

The plan: Dunedin for one week to attend a dreary conference, and then some other places. Back in time for Christmas. Will post some pictures if there’s a computer along the way.

Here’s a regular speed sign in a regular neighbourhood.

This is a flyer for the White Pride Coalition. The URL on the flyer, www.whiteprideco.com, (home of The Nationalist newsletter) is down, by the way.

The doctor’s sugery is a good canvas for stencillers. This hand dryer is my favourite.

A little lego man with teeth for a head.

Some anti-Howard junk.

American flag. I’m loving this camera because you can pull it out, get a good shot and stow it away in a matter of seconds. The batteries are cheap but they last forever.

In other news, WA Collaboration have a sustainable gift guide out with some ideas for Christmas. You are invited to “help someone to reduce their personal greenhouse gas emissions”. Contents - one cork ;)

[BTW: if you want a full-scale copy of any of the photos on this site, just email me care of this site.]

longest. title. ever. (lol, if you run your cursor over it you get brain damage)

10 Years Ago:
My first year of high school. Buying a lot of dodgy cafeteria food and playing hand tennis. Being teased for getting spots first, by people who are now major pizza-faces.

Five Years Ago:
My first year at Uni. I had just finished my Environmental Law exam and had fallen in love with Her. I was on my way to visit my Dad and his family in Melbourne and pissed off about it. I was 18, but very young.

One Year Ago:
I had just quit my job as a bottleshop guy, choosing to leave rather than wait to be fired when I crushed something *really* expensive with the forklift. My desk was a mess of PhD applications and my bands were doing their wind-up shows before I had to leave. Both of the shows sucked, as it happened.

Five Yummy Things.
good burgers - burgerlicious, oporto or retro betty’s
pumpkin bread
hommous, but only the restaraunt stuff
lager
cadbury milk chocolate

Five Songs I Know By Heart
can’t. be. bothered. At the moment I’m learning ‘Been Caught Stealing’ by Jane’s Addiction, and I hope to arrange it for piano.

Five Things I Would Do With A LOT Of Money
Buy a big old house
Eat takeout for a whole week
Get neato Christmas presents for everyone
? can’t believe I’m out of ideas already….
Work out a way to make the bus run on time (or buy a car)
Go to the symphony and make them play whatever I wanted them to

Five Things I Would Never Wear
sandals
a baseball cap
a polo shirt with the collar turned up
pants with belt loops without a belt - I HATE that.
goth makeup

Five Favourite TV shows
Coupling
House
Wire in the Blood (it’s fucking great I tell you)
Harvey Birdman
Chapelle’s show

Five Things I Enjoy Doing
sleeping
thinking
getting there early
making rash judgements and defending them

Five People I Want To Inflict This On
Who hasn’t done this already? T? James?

Reasons to read bash.org:

#580701 +(870)- [X]
[iibbmm] Stupid World of Warcraft.
[iibbmm] I have no money, I have no skills. All of the hot hot elvin women are dancing with the big warrior guys. It’s college all over again.

#577670 +(555)- [X]
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: DUDE..you know what we r gonna name our band?
Jahwarrior06: what?
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: “the big glove”
Jahwarrior06: the big glove? wtf?
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: yea…that way when we get done playing and the PA dude comes up there he can say “let’s have a big hand for The Big Glove”

#576262 +(1209)- [X]
McKhaos: this guy asks me
McKhaos: how many people work in your company ?
McKhaos: my answer
McKhaos: about a third

#580395 +(-1686)- [X]
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, “the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?”
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face

Maybe this building is a good metaphor for industrial relations today, but I kinda just think it’s neat.

The windows are open. You could probably climb in there if you wanted to.

On the ground it’s all boarded up - you walk under it without noticing it’s there.

1. Air New Zealand offers a choice of in-flight meals: normal meal, Kosher meal, vegetarian meal and bland meal. God help us.

2. Why watch Kath and Kim? There’s only one joke and I already got it.

3. I was walking down the street making a mental list of all the different kinds of hate. These sorts of lists are very handy because you never know when you’ll be called upon to give an exhaustive account of something.

Mark: Hmm. There’s race hate, class hate, religious hate, misogyny… um, self-hate and… what’s that one where you hate everyone?
Mark’s Brain: Talkback radio?
Mark: Yeah.

Actually, it’s misanthropy.

4. There are so many good books in the Gleebooks catalogue that I don’t feel bad about not reading any particular one of them. Hence I will not read any new books.

Well, that’s it for today. Off to find some of those elusive New Zealand dollars tomorrow.

Taking the bus down Botany Road yesterday, I saw a skinny Santa waving at cars. I looked like they had taken a homeless guy and put him in a Santa suit, no doubt with the promise of some fuity lexia if he could drum up a few customers for the nearby gardening centre. So sad.

My Dad used to keep a cask of fruity lexia at the bottom of the pantry. The goon (does everyone use that term, or is it just WA?) was supposed to be good for you if you drank a little each day. I now know that only applies to red wine - I guess the main use of the goon was gittin’ tipsy. Looking back, I bet that being drunk could make your evening a lot easier in that house. It’s certainly the only explanation of why I have so many half-siblings.*

BTW: I made some wallpaper that I reckon looks pretty l33t. (You have to hit ’stretch’ for it to work.)

*One parent the same. They’re not halflings or mutants or anything. Well actually…

I got into the routine of wearing a shirt for half of one day and half of the next.

A poorly composed photo of Lucia, the singer who joined Plasticscene after Katie Steele left to become famous in Little Birdy. You can see a small graze on her shin, which I think is why I kept this photo. Lucia is taller and prettier than just about any woman you might meet, and she’s also a really nice person - ‘favoured of the gods’ would be the best way to put it, if indeed you could put it that way before passing out in a fit of lust and envy. So the thought of her having some sort of imperfection, even a minor one, I found interesting.

But maybe I’m wrong and people like that don’t have imperfections. Maybe I was just taking a picture of the sweet 4×12 bass amp.

Update: I feel compelled to issue the disclaimer that following is a polemic concerning only the more fatuous of the myriad Buddhist practices. Wanna sue? Join the class action.

Buddhism is the world’s fastest-growing non-explosive-wielding religion. It has many followers, some celebrities and some not. It teaches peace and harmony and lots of good stuff, but is it all it’s cracked up to be? I think not.

People look to Buddhism as an alternative to Christianity, but if you really think about it, it’s basically the same thing - with the bonus of being slightly more plausible. It’s just as world-denying, self-effacing and monotheistic as Christianity, except there’s no big, angry, anthropomorphic God glaring down at you from on high. You get karma instead, which is a much more deeply-rooted (and therefore less glaring) misapprehension. And bugger all that ‘no gays’ stuff. So what’s seen as a viable alternative and a lifestyle change is, when you get down to brass tacks, just an excuse to indulge in a vague spirituality with minimal ideological committment.

You may object that buddhism has many warm and fuzzy things to teach us but - so I have discovered - even these important teachings are redundant because they are already built into modern mass society:

1. Buddhism teaches loss of self in a world where loss of self is already widespread. If it’s not the disappearance of people behind their clothes and their jobs, it’s the mediation of human contact by technology and social mores. If it’s not that, it’s the evacuation from the public realm of all genuine personality and the endless procession of phony TV hosts and drab, bureacratic politicians that rob our culture of beauty and the capacity to inspire.

2. Buddhism teaches worldlessness in a society that already has no feeling for the world. We do not have any sense of ownership of our culture or public affairs - these things belong to corporations, to the very rich, and to the political machine. We each walk in our own little rented corner of life, care for our families, watch the TV and drink beer. The world doesn’t concern us and vice versa.

3. Buddhism teaches inner peace when nothing matters enough to justify anger. Due to points 1 and 2, there is precious little at stake in our lives. The suffering that buddhism tells us is intrinsic to existence is little more than a niggle, usually involving a girl or a job interview or some shit. Wanna improve your life? Don’t seek peace - get angry about something.

So in conclusion, buddhism is a 97% Fat Free substitute for Christianity, popular with people who think God isn’t politically correct. Furthermore, it is fundamentally redundant in a society where the sense of self people try so hard to rid themselves of is mostly made up of Coca-cola and Apple iPod ads.

viva nihilism