OK - the crucial phase in Operation Canada is almost complete. Tomorrow I must go and track down the history lecturer who is apparently the head of the school of philosophy (there was a faculty restructure, in the surrealist mode apparently) and beat him with a stick until he signs my application form. Then I photocopy it six times and throw it on the mercy of the faculty panel. Wish me luck!

Also, if you go to Flickr you will see some photos from the abandoned Magic Kingdom amusement park in Fairfield, NSW. I took them from outside the fence, but you can still see how cool it is.

I just discovered House of Sugar. It’s a comic by Rebecca Kraatz, full of nostalgic tales about growing up in the 70 and 80s. She’s also obsessed with the 1940s, so it’s like, double nostalgia. There are no robots, ninjas or explosions, so it’s not the usual kind of comic, but I love it for being quiet and smart and going beyond the sphere of pop-culture reference that everyone else is exploiting. It’s very beautiful, and very funny as well. I like the New Year scary snow face and Secret Cave Purse especially. Also there are only 88 pages, and there are no more being made, so you can read the whole thing in an hour or two.

In short, if you don’t like House of Sugar you’re probably not a very nice person.

This is a photo from James’ cameraphone. It’s a bit lame bit you can kinda make out Liam in the red shirt and his autoharp player, EJ, with the cleavage. Liam is the son of one of those Kiwis from that tedious adult-contemporary band ‘Crowded House’ and EJ is the daughter of Jimmy Barnes from the truly rockin’ Cold Chisel.

I only went to this gig because James had comps and asked me to go with him, but I was well satisfied. That doesn’t cover the support act of course. Laura Imbruglia is a bit like a louder and less coherent Diana Ah Naid. I’m sure some people find her cute, but that’s what Abby Dobson was born for sadly and there ain’t no space in my heart left over. Liam Finn, however, was pretty good. With just two people on stage, they made a massive racket. Liam plays guitar with some great looping and layering gadgets and then leaps onto the drum kit to bust out some pretty frantic beats as well. His guitar solos are just brilliant if you like spastic noise and squealing - and hell yes you fucking know I do. But I think he’s a chance at long-term popularity too, because his songs aren’t all weidrness and noise. He plays some catchy tunes as well, and is a bit like The Sleepy Jackson or a sweeter, lamer Wilco in that sense.

So all in all, Liam Finn is a fun performer who has both Sonic Youth and Elliot Smith records on his shelf. He will show you TEH NOISE, but in a nice, safe and undeniably bearded way. His father must be very proud of him.

I am going to write a story where a man asks some creepy witches to astrally project him into the afterlife because he wants to see his dead wife. Then he falls shirtlessly in love with one of the witches. I’m not sure how many scenes it would have or if the ending would be happy or disturbing.

The other thing is Kat came and we went and saw some dead frogs at the art museum, followed by going to Bondi beach for the first time (I hadn’t been before - it’s one of those Sydney tourist things I could never be bothered doing), where there were lots of dead crusty Aussie males and girls jogging in tight pants. Wanted to do the walk down to Coogee, but we didn’t get the whole way because we couldn’t be arsed. Looking at the map, it turns out that we were basically there when we turned off the trail and got lost trying to find a bus stop in suburbia. Dang.

Now, witches…

Still laughing at this. Scary Go Round is the new best thing evar.

UPDATE: with the possible exception of BUFFY, THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - SEASON EIGHT. Yes, it’s so cool I even spelt out the number 8.

Actually, Xander’s kinda the star of it for me so far.

Today I went and got myself a bike trainer. It looks a bit like this:

Except I don’t own a spandex outfit. And if I did, I wouldn’t wear it because you’re supposed to remain stationary anyhow. After an initial ride it seems groovy, especially in that it simulates a nice, flat patch of road with no hills. The only problem is that apparently you can’t use it for more than half an hour at a time without turning your rear tyre into a pile of molten goo.

The gears on my bike are set pretty high and it can be hard going on hills in the real world - I tend to get a sore knee - so I’m hoping to gain a bit of buffness on the trainer that will help with that. It may not be as exciting as dodging traffic, and the scenery in the lounge room is pretty dull, but at least I can put the stereo on. You’d be surprised how susceptible I am to some inspirational power-chords.** :)

*Please tell me you get that reference.
**Please tell me you get that reference as well.

Fuck, I’m too tired to write anything. Also, I have a chocolate cake craving that I’ve only partially satisfied so far. Good news though. I had a meeting with the supervisor and she says the last chapter I did was up to standards and even ‘interesting.’ Now the next thing she wants to see is the whole thing except for the intro and conclusion chapters. This means that there is a lot of work to do, but also that we have reached the beginning of the end. It’s great.

Oh, and today the gear lever fell off my bike, but I fixed it by the roadside with my handy Swiss army knife even though I don’t really know how it works. I am too resourceful, McGyver style. Actually the really interesting part of this story is how it happened while I was going down the driveway of an abandoned theme park. There is a place in Chipping Norton that was apparently once called ‘The Magic Kingdom’ - it has a giant, rusted slipperydip, a burnt-down house, and piles of garbage everywhere. The fences are full of holes. It’s a symbol of innocence lost. Also of how run-down this area is. And the general unprofitability of theme parks, for that matter. I’m going to get photos next time. Anyone wanna come?

From Becky.

1. I’ve gleaned from your blog that you have musical aptitude. What instrument(s) do you play? How did you get started?

Well, I don’t call it ‘aptitude’ so much as ’sheer bloody-mindedness and an inability to hear my own mistakes,’ but yes, I do play some instruments. I’m vaguely competent at the guitar and computer programming, but I’ll have a go at just about anything, including drums and keyboards. I guess I don’t care about playing instruments as much as I enjoy making music, if you know what I mean.

I started learning the guitar in high school. My teacher was this woman with a mullet who lived with another woman. I didn’t realise she was a lesbian at the time, even though I guess I knew what one was. It was only later that I put two and two together. Anyhow, I just wanted to write my own songs and, despite having been the worst recorder player in the history of Bungaree Primary School, I managed to get the hang of it. The guitar is the best instrument to learn not just because it’s easy to get a basic rhythm going, but because it’s taught intuitively - being able to play ‘When the Saints Go Marching In’ on the harmonica isn’t worth crap, but you can make a million awesome songs with just three chords. You’re given what you need to create music, rather than just play it off a page.

After that I was in a band with my mate Tomas Ford. We were pretty cool, but I had to quit to go away and study. I still write new songs, but it’s not as fun without someone to play them with.

2. I remember there being cake at one point, and now we’re talking stir fry. What sorts of things do you like to cook? What is your favorite dish(es) to eat?

Like I said, I mostly prefer anything that’s quick and doesn’t leave too much washing-up. I’m a big fan of those frozen flavoured crumbed fish fillets that come in the yellow box, for example. I would eat TV dinners all the time but they are never big enough. Maybe my biggest problem with more involved cooking is that I’m not good at following recipes. I mean, I can do it (I’m not retarded) but my brain is more able to cope when I know what each action is meant to accomplish than when I’m just following a procedure. Tonight, when I made Mexican meatballs, I made a conscious decision not to follow the recipe too closely and just think about how the ingredients related one another, and how each ingredient had its own necessary journey through the cooking process. The result was great.

My favourite foods, as made by people who are not me, are Turkish pizza and anything Japanese. That said, I don’t really ‘get’ sashimi. It’s just gooey and boring.

3. If you could have any magic/psychic/super power what would it be?

Wolverine is pretty much the greatest superhero, so I’ll have whatever he has.

4. How did you get interested in philosophy?

Philosophy isn’t the sort of thing you think about when you come out of high school. I guess I just wanted to take a few electives and see what it was all about while I concentrated on science. In that regard I was lucky to go to Murdoch University, which gives you plenty of scope for electives and minors. So I started double-majoring in environmental science and philosophy. When I realised that philosophy was more fun than science, and that science wouldn’t walk me into an interesting or well-paid job, I decided to go into honours philosophy.

Philosophy is a sweet deal for many reasons. You get to consider the big questions about life, the universe and everything and talk with people about them, and that’s fun. There are also some very pronounced rivalries that tend to suck you in - do you tend to agree with Plato, or are you more of an Aristotle person? Liberalism or communism? Realism or idealism? Is there one truth or is it all relative? And so on. There’s also the challenge of stretching your thinking to new limits. Any truly decent philosophy will change the way you see the world, and some of them are like putting your mind through a paper shredder and sticking it back together with sticky tape. Truly amazing. On the more practical side of things, you get to do your own work on any topic you like and, unlike other jobs, you don’t have to stand around in the sun, deal with customers or do anything that ruins the environment.

5. Tell me about one of your favorite vacations or trips.

Favourite vacations or trips? Maybe I should start with what this rules out.

a) Vacations with my mum. She doesn’t really like to travel, and the places we did go were either boring, like Broome, or involved me swimming in waterholes full of asbestos tailings, like Wittenoom.

b) Vacations with my dad. These would have been hilarious for passers-by, but not for me. Fully equipped to camp for three weeks, we would have the truck’s tray packed up to the top of the cab, plus a loaded trailer or caravan on the back. We looked like those people you see on tv, fleeing a war zone with all their possessions. Packing the whole thing usually took a week, and putting up the tent complex when we were there was a couple of day’s work. Then, of course, you’d have to survive the mosquitos, Christian groups, sunburn, fights between dad and his wife, et cetera.

That only leaves my own personal trips and vacations, and apart from the one that’s just passed, the only one worth mentioning is the New Zealand trip of 05. It was supposed to be a conference trip, but the university wouldn’t pony up the dough. Nonetheless, I made it into a three-week holiday in South Island and hired a car to get around. There were glaciers and picturesque mountain passes, as well as sleepy country towns and some cows. The secret to this being the best holiday ever was definitely having a car and being able to go wherever I wanted. It allowed me to avoid boring towns and expensive tourist activities, and see much more than I could have on a bus trip. I could also sleep on the back seat in the middle of nowhere, which I think is actually a pretty great form of camping. Plus, the mountain passes in New Zealand offer some well hairy driving with lots of blind corners and one-way bridges, which can be fun if you have a good car. So I can recommend New Zealand to anyone who is thinking of going there. Some great stuff to see, friendly locals, and if you go in summer it’s not even too cold.

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My Diesel Sweeties t-shirts arrived. Now I just have to get some party in the back and I will on the road to true metal. Sweet!

Actually I’m not all that impressed by the printing quality, but this is still the coolest t-shirt ever.

Also, lately, I’ve been having some Food Frustration. It’s not that I don’t have enough tasty stuff to eat, but it’s more that I don’t think it’s very impressive. I mean, I mostly have frozen stuff for dinner and am not all that into the frying and the chopping. Those chicken fillets with spicy seasoning that you get in the freezer section? Those are my favourite thing at the moment, and I’d rather have frozen veg with them if only because it lasts longer in the fridge. But I don’t know. It’s not only Ross taunting me about his superior stir-fry skills, you see, but this cook book that my mum sent me. It has ingredients in it that I’ve never even heard of, like ‘pinched saffron threads’ (is it OK if I buy them rather than pinch them?) and ‘capers’ (I’ve had escapades and adventures, but I haven’t yet attempted a caper). Not to mention the need for grated lime rind, green onions and fresh basil. I have never bought these things, and probably never will until I need to impress a member of the opposite sex. So, it’s got me wondering whether I ought to be doing more. Frying things. Dealing in steak. Attending the butcher. And so on. Honestly, I don’t think it will be tastier that way, or cheaper, and it certainly won’t be quicker, but it would definitely be an ego boost. Status food, you know? I could go into a supermarket and pretend to give a crap about the different cuts of meat and the price of lettuce, rather than just grabbing microwave fish fillets and a bag of prepack salad.

Or, you know, not.

Photos of my trip are up on Flickr if you want to see what went on. Here’s a summary:

Ross’ granny-flat in Melbourne: He has a great fold-out couch and makes a good curry, but his broadband is lame and his collection of Crowded House Records is tragically qwerty.

On the road: Halls Gap is good, and I wanna go back there in summertime to do more of the bush walks. Apollo Bay and Port Fairy are also OK. I got the biggest, sloppiest hamburger at the bakery in Port Fairy. All the hostels were warm and user-friendly but there were no girls.

Seeing my dad: Dad always inspires me to be a better person, but you have to understand that the example he gives is largely cautionary. I want to love a woman so much and so expertly, and be so understanding to my kids, because he is not good at these things himself. I helped him look up a motel to go to with his girlfriend.

Sister’s 22nd party: Kicked arse. There was a quiz about various aspects of her life, and my team won first prize. We especially pwned at the dancing contest, forming a conga line of robots and crushing all hu-man opposition. Also, I met a cousin that I haven’t seen for something like 12 years and she was totally very friendly.