Softball coaching. How hard can it be?

O hai. I haven’t updated for a while, have I? Anyway, it was my birthday the other day. I’m 27. I’m having my party at Tom and E’s so they don’t have to get a babysitter, and they apparently have something planned. I’m not sure what. I just know I have to wear black. This is what you get for being too lazy to plan your own birthday party.

Speaking of birthday weirdness, one of our mutual friends has decided that I’m not invited to her birthday party. That is particularly lame because Tom had planned his birthday party as a sort of after-party to her birthday party. It was going to be karaoke early on in the evening, then clubbing afterward. Now he’s got to do something else for his birthday so that I can come along, and I feel sort of responsible. This is all the result of a grudge that has been building for years, and to be honest I did say some dumb shit to her that started it all off. Still, anyone else would have laughed it off by now. Kat, who I said even dumber shit to, is now like a sister to me. Whatever. I suppose it’s her choice, and we’ll just have to work around it.

What else has been going on? I have applied for about a million jobs. I am now quite detached from the process and am mostly doing it because I don’t have anything better to do. I have taken to applying for jobs in Melbourne and pretending that I am a maths teacher. I have also claimed to be able to coach softball. On a more positive note, I have also made plans to jam with a dub / jazz band and maybe play some samples for them. They might not be that good, but we’ll see.

So yesterday I handed in the last of my uni assignments. I still have a few more Tuesday classes to go to, but basically it’s over. Now, if you know me well enough, you’ll know that this is definitely not something that will get me celebrating. Employment prospects for next year are bleak, so in all likelihood my summer is going to be less like:

TEN YEARS OF UNI - DONE! WOO!! NOW I BETTER GET SOME QUALITY RELAXIN DONE BEFORE I GO TO WORK NEXT YEAR!!

and more like:

TEN YEARS OF UNI DIDN’T REALLY AMOUNT TO MUCH DID IT. HUM, WELL THEN.

So yeah, not looking forward to that. While I’m at it, I also need to vent the fact that I have developed the dumbest and least feasible crush in history. I’m not going into specifics, but it’s really dumb and the odds of it turning into anything are a googolplex to one. Pelicans will sooner eat cats. It sucks, and I have only my Victorian Bicycle Porn to comfort me!

Unlikely, but disturbingly possible.

1) The effervescent Mish is coming to Perth, so I’m helping her look for rentals. I went to inspections at a couple of places on Saturday - one was good and the other was a little bit ghetto, so she applied for the good one. It’s kind of fun going to inspections when it’s not your time and money at stake.

2) Saturday night E made a roast and we ate roast. A mini-keg of Heineken was consumed. I was pwned at the card game ‘arsehole,’ resulting in me downing a shot of death - a photo of which was posted to FB, like, five seconds after it happened. Still, I dominated at Speed Scrabble (or whatever you call it), Celebrity Head and Scattergories.

3) I went to my mum’s place in York yesterday and whippersnippered the front lawn weeds. Since the full-face mask was missing, I ended up with plant mush in my mouth and up my nose. Not a pleasant experience for an allergic kind of guy.

4) Today my neck hurts and I refuse to sit at the computer any longer. Bye now!